I wanted to start my own blog for quite some time now and every time I sat in front of my computer couldn’t think of what to write about. I’ve been writing journals all my life, but I have not “found the time” to write for a while, even though great things have happened to me in the past few years. Perhaps it's because I have nothing to complain about? I think it is more than that. So as I was asking myself why I was not inspired to write, a thought came to me, have I lost interest in myself?
This doesn't say I’m not interesting ... Just that I don’t find myself interesting enough to write about? I like to think I’m too busy with work, events, developing business relationships and connecting people. Yawn! Wow, it does sound like it’s all about work and no play for me, but why? I should be enjoying the best time in my life... NOW. I’m finally alone (sort of, I have a dog and a cat), my kids are out of the house and making their own lives. I'm not tied to anything or anyone. I can come and go as I please. I don't need to compromise with anyone about my spending, schedule, etc. So why don't I have more interesting things to write about?
Maybe blogging will help me "find myself." I’ve heard many people refer to “finding themselves” and it makes sense to me now. It’s probably a mid-life thing. In my twenties, I couldn’t get enough of myself. My thirties were about everyone one else and now, it's time to return to myself.
I’d like to pose the question to you, the readers of this blog, are you still interested in yourself?
About Me
- Diary of a Boricua
- Boston, MA, United States
- I'm an inquisitive Puerto Rican that enjoys the benefits of two cultures. I appreciate life's little pleasures and I'm happy with just the necessities to live. Those that know me well, know that I'm full of contradictions... Persistence is one of my best qualities.
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Have I lost interest in myself? I would like make a disclaimer before I formally answer this questions. I am by no means conceited or full of myself. I am just very honest!! :)
HELL NO…I have not lost interest in myself yet. Between my social calendar, my doctor appointments, my hairdresser appointments, pedicures, manicures, shopping and just plain having fun, my life is so interesting I am jealous of myself! LOL….I live every day to the fullest and to the point of straight up exhaustion. I am constantly planning things to do. There are times I look at my calendar and it’s damn near booked solid for the month. I have to book myself time with MYSELF. Soooo…to answer your question…..no…….I have not lost interest in myself………..I continue to find new and interesting things about myself every day!
Maybe???? Like Eve, my calendar is completely jammed with activiites, my family and monthly pedicures. I, however, wonder about the question itself - Have I lost interest in myself? How can I quantify that? If losing interest is looking unkept or unwashed or with nothing to do than no. I am well-groomed, attractive and as I mentioned before with a complete social and family calendar. Does losing interest suggest that I am not interested in anything or by a different measure boring? Again, the answer is no. I am never bored am always looking to learn something new. Then the question becomes, Does becoming interested in myself suggest that I am egocentric and the world revolve around me than the answer is a huge resounding yes :)
Josefina
I don't think so... In fact, the more interest I put in myself, the better results I see. The best way to prove that you are still interested in yourself is when you are comfortable saying no. It is hard to care about yourself when you have a job, a family and a million other pressures to deal with, and oftentimes you are taken as selfish...but then it's those small things that you do for yourself (like simply staying quiet, on your own) that go the greatest lengths...!
I have not lost interest in myself. I’m in my 30s, I’ve done a few things in my life and I still find it fascinating to get to know more of me and what I feel I can do. I was born in Central America. I live and went to undergrad and grad school in Boston. I’m bilingual and bicultural. I lived and did research in Spain for three months and traveled through Europe for one month. I’m married. I have what they call a “professional job.” I’m a supervisor. I enjoy volunteering in the Special Olympics. I’m a Christian. I lost my Mom to cancer. I have become more aware of my own mortality. I’m an actress and have done a few acting jobs. I play an instrument. I have taking many classes, including singing, fashion buying, leadership, and many others. I love learning new things. I love my family and I love God. And I feel that there is about 90% of me that if I’m yet to discover. I still don’t feel that I have “grabbed myself by the horns.”
Miranda
Girl it's almost impossible that a person like you looses her self. It sounds to me like you are suffering from "to much independence and freedom" your have not been FREE in a long time and as you said you can do as you please! don't despair it might take a while but will figure it out, may be you just need to write down all those things you've always want to do so you can visualize them and see the status of each and then decide which one to tackle first.
BTW, gracias for the invite to blog, I was in that limbo too, feeling the preassure of starting my own blogg and being part of that great new community that needs to post amazig thoughts in the web (lol) but never have time because we are always running around "como pollos sin cabeza".
Well... here we go. We can never lost ourselves, we just evolve according to the moment, sometimes we fell prey of the external world and sometimes we are just acting up our selves. We have the added benefit of our bi-culturism. What a treasure! We have "un pie en cada pais". Also we are creative creatures (a completely different kind of human beens). There is nothing wrong with liking a painting or jewelry etc... as long as is art, it does not need to be ostentatious. As long as you love it and you don't buy it out of greed. also it's extremely important to support art, all art forms, that's how artist survive and grow. And if that piece of art becomes precious well that's a bouns. It's like been afraid to produce a program or a film because it might become successful, or might get bought by a big studio or it might be seen by millions. Everything that you do, do it out of love and not out of fear. Of course as long as we don't hurt other to.
We do loose ourselves in an ocean of commitments, somewhere, somehow society has imposed tons of commitments to attend to and not enough time to be there. We sometimes forget to check ourselves, are we doing fine? are we taking good care of ourselves? If so, well we can take of others. Granted we sometimes enjoy taking care ourselves more than others (and sometimes not) but "heck" life moves really fast and a day gone will not come back. (I mean all of us) You/we have sacrifice your self for other, you/we have survive weird relationships, you/we have survived illness, you/we have survived going from one culture to the next. So we have to claim ourselves back, enjoy ourselves, grow ourselves.
So don't feel good about you and don't over booked your agenda.
At the end of the day, the week and the month. There has to be that one thing (or several) that you accomplished for yourself and sometimes for others that make feel good even great. And of course a bunch of others that await there turn.
If you accomplish them all and all problems are solve and everyone is taking care... well it might be time to check out into another galaxy ;-)
(wrap it up!) Sorry I know, I should drive a Rambler! btw, I'm drive a 2001 subaru as well, no shame there it's a CAR the loose their value, I don't drive a lot and fits in every city spot. But when it comes to a nice bottle of wine... well that's different. Art, shoes and clothing too! ;-)
So me despido por ahora, it's a gorgeous sunny saturday and my bicycle awaits, I am planning a 3 hour ride or more (if my old bones allow).
So campers (I mean bloggers) why can we blogg live over some vino and bocadillos? (May be can blogg at home on our "calzonzillos y botanas (sin maquillaje)".
Saludos y hasta la next one.
ferp
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